Can't seem to make or keep friends.

  • Posts 20

Lunie created the topic: Can't seem to make or keep friends.

This has been bothering me for about 8 years now. I can't seem to make or keep true friends. They always fizzle out one way or another. I'm always kind, helpful and just a good friend in general. It never seems to be enough, though. Do any of you have this issue?

#1
  • Posts 275

Perplexed replied the topic: Can't seem to make or keep friends.

Making friends is difficult for some and a natural talent for others. It's hard to say why you're having so much difficulty making and retaining true friends. Possibly, you're just seeking the wrong types of people in order "to make friends" for the sake of it. Relax and take it slower, letting your personality guide your way. After a while, you can tell the difference between those who truly like you for who you are and those who are just using you and then flit away. Keep trying, nice people attract nice people who care for one another.

#2
  • Posts 223

marcus replied the topic: Can't seem to make or keep friends.

This is quite a hard one because I can't tell the kind of person you are but overall, making and keeping friends shouldn't be such a hard thing. Over the years, I have met a lot of people and made friends along the way. Initially, it wasn't easy to tell which of them was genuine but over time, I have retained just a close-knit circle of few friends. As Perplexed has mentioned, you really have to keep in mind what your idea of a 'friend' is, all this while letting your personality guide you.

#3
  • Posts 276

Snowy replied the topic: Can't seem to make or keep friends.

Making true friends can be difficult and it definitely takes time. I have known my circle of friends for many years and while I've met some nice acquaintances during that time, I very seldom add someone new to the group who I would consider a true friend. Take your time and don't blame yourself.

#4
  • Posts 225

DeepSea replied the topic: Can't seem to make or keep friends.

I also have this issue, but I kind of know why. Part of it is because I have a weird sense of humour, and I have trouble "being myself" around people. Other issues include me not owning a car to visit my friends more easily, having hobbies that take up too much of my time, and me just being too shy to initiate things.

Keeping up friendships is a lot of work, and it's even more difficult if you have a boyfriend that you spend most of your time with lol.

#5
  • Posts 222

JoJo replied the topic: Can't seem to make or keep friends.

When it comes to friend, I always go for quality over quantity. I have always had problems making friends, but since I started opening up a little more, I noticed that I can get along with people more.

I'm not sure what kind of person you are or the people you hang out with, but I'm guessing there is something that doesn't click between you and that's why it doesn't last?

#6
  • Posts 122

nick replied the topic: Can't seem to make or keep friends.

Just the other day, I was having this discussion with a friend of mine. I asked how many people she considers to be true friends and after much thought, her list didn't go past ten. This got me thinking, are most of the people that we regard as friends actually be the exact opposite of who we regard them as? I will need to really think about this critically.

#7
  • Posts 100

Chara replied the topic: Can't seem to make or keep friends.

Definition of a friend - someone whom you can do something for. I have acquaintances but not friends. I especially have never had a "best" friend except my husband. Another thing I have learned about having friends is to be a friend. If it's a one sided relationship then it will fizzle. Example: does your
"friend" call you all the time or do you call her/him occasionally. Does your friend make all the plans like going to the movies or out to eat, or do you give input as well? Think on these things and get back with us. Please!!

#8

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