Friends Who Really Aren't

  • AutumnRose
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AutumnRose created the topic: Friends Who Really Aren't

My husband and I just recently became "friends" with a neighbor couple who turned out to be pretty shady people. My husband had known the man when he was younger and I went to high school with the woman. We have been very nice to these people, helped a lot with the woman's 12 yr old daughter and took her places she otherwise would not have gotten to go to. We totally adore the little girl, but the adults have now decided this makes it okay for them to take advantage of us. They currently do not even have running water in their home and they pop in at our house to take showers unannounced, borrow groceries and do not return them, ask us to take them places and drop the child off at our house any time they get tired of her. Having the child at our house is not a problem, but the behavior of the adults is no longer tolerable. How do we put a stop to this without hurting the child's feelings and making her think we do not want her around anymore?

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Snowy replied the topic: Friends Who Really Aren't

I think you need to draw a hard line with the parents and let them know their behavior will no longer be tolerated. When it comes to their daughter, set specific days and times you are willing to have her over or drive her somewhere, but you can't make exceptions beyond that because these people will clearly take advantage of your kindness.

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Perplexed replied the topic: Friends Who Really Aren't

Holy cow!, what a predicament! I agree with Snowy. Lay down the law to these freeloaders, at once! Is there "Welcome" printed on your foreheads? I don't mean to sound hard on you, but I think you both are kindhearted souls, and to be taken advantage of by these people who claim to be your friends makes my blood boil. As far as the girl is concerned, she probably thinks you two are great and that her parents are acting like cads, which they are. Unfortunately, the loss of having the girl around to enjoy will probably be the result of your confrontation with the cads. I will pray for your successful administration of the so-called friends' dismissal and the heartache that the girl's departure presents. Good luck, and God Bless.

  • AutumnRose
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AutumnRose replied the topic: Friends Who Really Aren't

Thank you all. Yes, we are entirely too nice. What is sad is that the little girl seems so happy when she is around us and she is always so appreciative of anything we do for her. I can tell it is very embarrassing to her when her mother and the mother's boyfriend always cross the line when it comes to asking for favors from us. I can also tell that even though she is only 12 years old, she has not had a very happy life. I forgot to mention, her actual birth father is in prison too. She's told me about the fights her Mom and the boyfriend have too. It is just a bad situation all around. I know she adores her mommy, but her mommy tends to put other things before her child.

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Zara replied the topic: Friends Who Really Aren't

Have you noticed just how much these kind of situations can teach us and how they can help us to become even better versions of ourselves in the future? All this little girl needs is just one person like you in her life to guide her and show her how to use these experiences to become a stronger and wiser person as she grows.

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RyleeB replied the topic: Friends Who Really Aren't

What a difficult situation. My husband and I would do the same thing, but there comes a time when you have to step back and tell them that enough is enough. They shouldn't even be allowed to be living where they are if they don't have running water. I know that where I live this child would most likely be taken away from them because they are clearly not providing for her. I hope everything will work out for this poor, innocent girl.

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JoJo replied the topic: Friends Who Really Aren't

This is a very delicate situation. These people sound like the type of parents who will make their daughter hate you if you ask them to stop doing what they're doing. Unfortunately this is something that will most probably happen and you can't do anything about it. You should talk to them and put a stop to this nonsense.

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EmmyG replied the topic: Friends Who Really Aren't

What a horrible situation you are in! I also find myself in these situations where I continuously extend myself to people who never seem to be there when I am in need. I have had to distance myself from those people, set hard limits, and even walk away when my boundaries were crossed.

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Chara replied the topic: Friends Who Really Aren't

If you continue to allow yourself to be taken advantage of by these "adults", what are you teaching the child? You are teaching her it's O.K. to sponge off someone else and take no responsibility for her own life. You are creating a second generation of leeches. Do something quick to stop this!!!


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